Even My Dogs Practice Portion Control

This is one of those days where I want to eat...everything.  I'm afraid it's PMS rearing it's ugly head.  At least I hope so.  If not, I'm just in a hungry piggy with no excuse.  Speaking of PMS, I suppose that's an excuse too.  But is it an excuse if there's an actual hormonal connection?  Not sure.  I woke up this morning with a dull headache and I'm feeling like a bottomless pit.  I've already consumed 827 calories today.  Yikes!!

Breakfast: Mini cinnamon sugar bagel with morning star farm veggie sausage patty: 210 cal
Snack #1: Latte with one pump white mocha non-fat/no-whip-145 cal
Snack #2: Few pretzel thins with hummus-100 cal
Lunch: Bangkok Curry Noodle Bowl w/Shrimp (Size Sm) from Noodles & Co-340 cal
Snack #3: 2 vanilla wafers & a sugar-free Werther's candy: 32 cal

I better have salad for dinner to hit my daily goal.  Plus, last night was Bunco and I really screwed the pooch on calories yesterday.  Speaking of pooch I thought I'd share the story of my dogs and their undeniable success with dieting.  I like to think of them as my role models.  We have two Brussels Griffins, Mildred (blond) and Gertrude (black).

My dogs started gaining weight a couple years ago when Ryder thought it was a fun game to drop about half his breakfast, lunch, and dinner on the floor for the dogs to fight over.  Being that they're... well...dogs, they didn't care how gross and mangled these nuggets of food hitting the floor.  They'd fight over them and devour every crumb.  Ry thought this was hilarious and he'd repeat the game over and over.  I felt sorry for the dogs...eating the same monotonous meal at every sitting, I allowed them to enjoy the discarded food.  Deep down, I knew it was happening; my dogs were getting fat.  It started slow...then one day Milly's snoring got worse, they were heavier to lift, and had very little energy.  I avoided taking them to the vet because at the previous check up I had been warned they were feeling soft around the ribs.  After completely ignoring my vet and letting the problem get out of control, I knew I was in for a lecture.  Sure enough...I got the wrath from my vet.  I'm a terrible dog mother, they're obese, free feeding is almost enough to have them removed from my care, etc, etc.  I was humiliated and felt so guilty...I'd become that person I'd always loathed.  The person so preoccupied with my human child that I'd totally neglected the fur babies.  Milly and Gerty each needed to lose a minimum of 3-5 lbs.  I was instructed to drastically cut their food intake.  Being that I wasn't monitoring it at all, I didn't know where to start.  Taking advice from my vet, we decided to give them each them each 1/3 cup dry food twice per day.

If looks could kill my dogs would've murdered me.  They'd sit by their food bowls with their heads cocked to the side..."Bitch please?  I can eat that in like three bites."  And they did...and I felt terrible.  Dieting is so hard and I had no way to comfort them.  All I could do was disappoint them twice a day with their measly 1/3 cup and try to keep Ryder from dropping other treats.  "Sorry girls...mommy is just trying to make you skinny bitches.  It's good for you, I promise."  Low and behold, in a few weeks you could tell they were getting lighter.  Within 6 months the progress was amazing...the incredible shirking dogs!!  Gerty once escaped from the backyard (probably in hopes of finding a new home where they don't starve pets) only to be plucked by my neighbor and returned.  My neighbor didn't recognize her and had to check her tag to know she was our dog.  Wow!  I had no idea it was that noticeable.  I started to feel jealous.  I wish someone would portion out my meals and serve them to me in silver bowls.  Not a terrible deal after all.  My dogs reached their weight loss goals, I got back in good graces with our vet and it was a win win for everyone.  The girls seemed to adjust to their tiny portions, look healthy, and have more energy to play.  Even though their diet wasn't elective, I still see them as an inspiration that cutting calories is a method that really does work.  Tonight when I'm wanting dessert and a few glasses of wine, I shall look to my dogs for motivation.  Here's to being a skinny bitch!!